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It all started with an onion. I was telling my 6 year old daughter that it was okay to stay in the kitchen because I knew how to cut an onion so that wouldn’t burn your eyes. Granted I was bragging…but then my husband chimed in saying, “Mom just loves telling that story.” I laughed (genuinely) but then thought, well…why am I feeling slightly embarrassed about that.
I think a part of being a mom is accepting that you’re not cool anymore. The stuff you brag about and get excited about will often be pegged down as boring, irrelevant, sad or honey don’t worry you’re not a 50’s housewife anymore, you have rights now! Be that as it may, my reality as a mom means that I actually DO these things on the daily! My to do list is filled with stuff like; disguise cabbage in cool dish or sweep water out of the yard as early as possible to take baby out while hanging the washing and having it dry before the weather is gonna turn at 2 o clock so my husband will have pants to wear because we haven’t gotten to the washing in 5 days. You know…stuff like that. So when I accomplish something, I have an internal celebration but am met with blank stares from normal people.
And that’s when it hit me. The onion had spoken.
Somewhere out there, this has to be relatable! Somewhere out there someone is also playing So You Think You Can Wash Dishes. I refuse to believe that I am the only one of my kind. And that's when I went to my balcony and shouted, "No more! No more will mothers be bland and characterless! No more will we be insignificant! We will no longer be shamed for our triumphs! We will force into conversation how we got all our kids into bed by 7.30 and drop the goddamn mic! And we’ll identify each other by puffy eyes, achy postures and maybe, just maybe... a hilarious and impossibly relatable graphic T-shirt.
And just like that, my kindred spirits, my divas and sovereigns and dear dear mothers of the world, just like that…
ZombieMom was born.
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