Should Your Life Before Kids Be Erased?

"Hey Mum, did you ever go out to clubs?" A question I am in a constant state of non-readiness for. Among many many others. When my daughter says my name in a serious way, I immediately grab the old boxing gloves and assume a shuffle stance. We can do this, you're the freaking ZombieMom come on, gimme my mouth guard! So when you say club, my huggy-buggy, do you mean like an astronomy club? Because yes I went to a lot of those. Okay I actually didn’t. This is going really well.

Me with my human self, had a lot of life experience before I settled down into a more structured and responsible way of living. Marriage and kids aside, I decided to calm down out of my own. The story was pretty standard really, at some stage you realize that the constant hamster wheel of partying, boys and eating disorders is somewhat redundant and altogether counterproductive. So I let it go, in search of more meaning and more solidity.

But I’d be lying if I said I look back at my folly of youth and don’t have a good giggle now and then. Its something that is 1000% in the past. Did you catch those three zeros there? But they are merely memories stuffed in the mattress of my mind. I often think however, do these experiences shape a person? The person that you used to be, are they part of the person you are today? If someone from your present doesn’t know about your past, do they really know you? Well? Do they? I don’t know! I could ask myself the same thing about someone I recently became close with. Do I really wanna know what went down that night at Plett Rage, I dunno! Am I really willing to see what happens to you when I play Pass That Dutch, I have no idea.

So lets just assume you and your partner do keep all past antics to yourself, and only dust them off as hilarious anecdotes at high school reunions. We know we don’t want our kids to repeat the same mistakes we made. Its not like I’m gonna say well here you go, now that you’re sixteen, I wanted you to have the acid washed jean shorts. It was passed on from your great grandmother and she would be proud to see you in it today. But you know their teenage asses are gonna be curious, questioning and pushy. Do we lie? Do we tell a skewed version of the truth? Or are we completely honest?

Help a mother out here. It might look like I have all the answers but I kind of just have one. Which is yes, I do need a carrier bag. Other than that I’m learning as I go. So spam me with advice, opinions, any input and maybe a canvas bag.

And if you haven't done anything cringeworthy in your past, congratulations you Yeti, you have finally been discovered.